


Absolution

by polarRabbit



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Catholic Guilt, Dubious Consent, Feminization, M/M, Praise Kink, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-30 19:25:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19409818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polarRabbit/pseuds/polarRabbit
Summary: “Look at you…such a beautiful little doll.“, Bucky cooed into his ear, standing behind Steve and forcing chin up, so he was meeting his own eyes in the mirror, staring back at him with shame and something else he didn’t dare to name. His blond, barely visible lashes had been darkened with mascara and pink hue spread over his cheeks despite no rouge covering them. The most drastic part of the whole make-up was the lipstick. Bright red like poppies, standing out against his pale complexion.





	Absolution

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t expect an excuse fort his, I’m simply enjoying to ruin Bucky's character too much for my own good.

“Look at you…such a beautiful little doll.“, Bucky cooed into his ear, standing behind Steve and forcing chin up, so he was meeting his own eyes in the mirror, staring back at him with shame and something else he didn’t dare to name. His blond, barely visible lashes had been darkened with mascara and pink hue spread over his cheeks despite no rouge covering them. The most drastic part of the whole make-up was the lipstick. Bright red like poppies, standing out against his pale complexion. 

“So pretty.“, Bucky sighed, an almost dreamy sound to his voice that sounded much lower than when he usually talked to him. A voice that was usually reserved for the dames he brought back to their shared flat. Over time one or two forgot their makeup in the bathroom and instead of giving it back to them or throwing the items away Bucky had apparantly collected them and today he’d decided to test them on Steve, dolling him up as he’d called it.

At first Steve had refused, trying to push him away, twisting and turning his head, but he quickly run out of steam and having to hold still, taking deep breaths in order to avoid an asthma attack. Bucky did some funny stuff when he’s drunk like talking to the radio or trying to eat raw potatoes. This was different and Steve just hoped he’s eventually going to grow tired and drop the whole charade and if he’s waking up tomorrow with holes in his memories Steve could fill them with white lies. No harm done.

“Wish you could see yourself through my eyes, Stevie.“, Bucky went on talking to himself, making Steve’s hair stand on the end when his lips brushed the side of his neck, warm breath ghosting across sensitive skin. Lowering his gaze, Steve tried to avoid the mirroring surface in their tiny bath. He wasn’t pretty no matter how much makeup Bucky would slap onto his face. He’d still be short, scrawny guy with a twisted spine and flat feet, nothing that could be fixed with powder and creams. “I wanna go to bed, Buck.“, he uttered quietly.

“Sleep is for the dead. We’re still young!“, his friend returned cheerfully, smacking a enthusiastic kiss against his jaw. Steve flinched a bit in surprise, starting to struggle against Bucky’s hold. “Ooohh, don’t get shy with me Steve. I saw those nastly looks you’re giving me all the way across the dance floor when I kissed Dot. I assumed you’re jealous of me…but I was wrong, wasn’t I?“, he asked teasingly, plump lips pressing against the nape of Steve’s neck, giving him goosebumps and a warm tingling sensation that went straight down his curvy spine. Steve could feel his heart jackrabbit in his chest at the accusation, one he wanted to deny immediately, but his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth.

“M'not as blind as I pretend to be and even if I were I can feeel your eyes on me.“, Bucky informed him, stretching his vowels for a more dramatic effect. Well, it certainly worked, cold sweat starting to form along Steve’s hairline. “You’re drunk, Buck.“, he stated weakly, desperately attempting to change the topic.

“I found your drawings…the ones you didn’t show me. Why’s that, Stevie? You’ve got something to hide from your best guy?“, Bucky wanted to know, the one arm slung around Steve’s slim waist starting to tug him backwards and out of the bath. Steve knew exactly which drawings Bucky was talking about, wishing he’d burned them or better never drawn them in the first place. Those lines of coal that made up the shape of Bucky’s naked backside and the sharp V of his hips. “No secrets, we always share them with each other.“, he’s reminded Steve with a conspiratorial smirk. 

Bucky was rather oversharing when it came to his secrets. Steve had never asked for details about how his best friend had lost his virginity, how it felt to stick his tongue up a girl’s cunt or have their mouth wrapped around his dick. Steve had the dwindling hope that someday he’d experience all those things himself and until then he tried not to think too much about it. Especially not about how he’d rather have Bucky’s mouth and hands on him. He’d stopped counting how many times he’d woken up with his skivvies damp from spunk, having to scrub them clean in the bath’s sink with his head bowed in shame. It was a real miracle he didn’t burst into flames whenever he crossed the threshold of the church for Sunday Mass.

“I couldn’t- didn’t want you to despise me.“, Steve choked out, squeezing his eyes shut. He stumbled, but Bucky was still holding him, now with both arms, carefully maneuvering them onto the worn down couch. He ended up on Bucky’s lap, legs spread uncomfortably wide to be able to frame his friend’s thighs.

“You want my forgiveness? You can earn it.“ _Earn it._ The sound of that remark made Steve unconsciously swallow, lifting his hands to let them rest on Bucky’s forearms, curled protectively over his stomach. “How?“, he found himself asking, his lips having a mind of their own.

“It’s up to you, gorgeous.“, came the blank reply before Bucky loosened his grip on him, hands finding their way down his hips and squeezing the thickest part of his thighs, Bucky’s fingers almost managing to wrap around them. Slightly wriggling on his lap Steve could feel Bucky’s growing interest through his cheap slacks. Did Bucky want him to--? Steve didn’t fully manage to finish the thought when his cheeks heated up at the mere idea of him getting intimate with his best friend. There’s a special circle in hell for people like them. At least he’d be in good company…

Bucky chose that moment to pick up where he’d left, plastering kisses against his neck and mouthing along the bumps of his spine. “You taste so good.“, he murmured between pleased hums, leaving damp trails of spit. It shouldn’t be arousing, shouldn’t make Steve want to rip his threadbare undershirt off, so Bucky could continue all the way down his body, get a taste of every patch of skin he had to offer. No…it was his turn to get a taste. Maybe this was a one time chance, maybe they’d both feel guilty about this in the morning, avoiding each others eyes and pretending that nothing had happened. Until then, they had a few hours left to spare.

Leaving his position on Bucky’s lap Steve slipped down onto the floor instead, the hard wood painfully digging into his knees. He’d definitely feel this for a while. Steve didn’t want to focus on the pain tho when sitting between Bucky’s legs. Bucky looked completely at ease, slouching against the cushions with one arm thrown over the backrest of the couch and giving Steve an expectant look. Steve wanted to wipe that smug expression from his perfectly curled lips and make him lose his composure. His determination won over the insecurity that he’d never given a blowjob before and ignoring the fact that his lungs were barely functioning on a daily basis without a cock stuffed down his throat.

Steve’s finger didn’t shake when he reached for the top button of Bucky’s pants, then pulling down the zipper as far as possible. He tried not to think how he must look like in his current situation, but when he looked up at Bucky’s face he could see his pupils being blown wide, encircled by a familiar shade of grayish blue. Steve had dreamed of Bucky looking at him like this, unaltered craving directed at him instead of those dames Bucky took back home. If it weren’t for the texture of the fabric beneath his hands and the warmth of Bucky’s skin radiating through his cloths Steve would think of it as another fantasy his deprived mind was coming up with. Bucky’s fingers running through his hair, pushing the bangs out of his face brought him back to the presence, grounding him there. “No need to be nervous.“, Bucky reassured him, probably thinking he’s having doubts.

“I’m not.“, he retorted defiantly, brows furrowing. Steve was fairly certain that there’s no way to do this gracefully, that he’d end up making a mess, so he might as well embrace it, swallow down his pride. Surely Bucky wouldn’t dare to laugh at him with his teeth surrounding one of the most vulnerable bits of his body. Cupping the bulge in Bucky’s pants Steve gave it a light squeeze, which earned him a soft groan and tug at his hair, encouraging him to go on. Steve didn’t need to be prompted twice, rubbing his fingers along the outlines of Bucky’s prick more firmly. He wasn’t inexperienced in this area, having jacked off more than one time, sitting in the same place Bucky was sitting now while his friend had been busy with his date behind closed doors. Not like they did anything to muffle the noises with their walls thin like paper.

Leaning over Bucky’s crotch Steve pulled back his hand to make space for his mouth. He’d entirely forgotten about the lipstick until it left red smears on the white fabric of Bucky’s underwear. Nimble fingers slid into the slit of Bucky’s underwear, getting a hold of the throbbing flesh before revealing his length, already stiff and flushed. Steve went a bit cross-eyed staring at it up close. He could see the thickened vein coiling along the underside and the chubby tip. Steve couldn’t tell if it was above average, yet the erection felt rather big and heavy in his hand. “Actin’ like you ain’t feedin’ it on a regular basis.“, Steve muttered under his breath. “Are you gettin’ feisty with me?“, Bucky commented with an amused chuckle, scraping his short nails over Steve’s scalp. Steve got moxie, which got him in trouble more often than not, but Bucky could appreciate it under circumstances like these.

Steve flicked his tongue over the slit, starting out with small kitten licks that quickly turned into sticking out his tongue completely and lavishing as much of Bucky’s cock as he could. He only paused when it was covered in his spit and more smudges of lipstick from the base to the tip. “You’re doing great, babydoll.“ The praises which had previously sounded like taunts now felt like a shower of affection and Steve was basking in it like a cat in the sun. Yearning for more of them, Steve lowered his head again, this time wrapping his lips around the glands, feeling his mouth stretch to accommodate the girth. He took a few deep breath through his noise, nostrils flaring before sinking down a few more inches. Bucky must enjoy the sensation, moaning more audible than before, his grip in Steve’s hair tightening, suppressing the urge to push down and making him choke. Steve was grateful he didn’t apply any force, simply following his motions. Letting Bucky’s length slip out of his mouth again with a wheeze Steve started to feel a bit dizzy.

“Hey, ’s fine, just use your hands, sweetheart.“, Bucky told him, sounding genuinely worried for the first time since he dragged Steve out of bed. It was nice to know that Bucky had his well being in mind. “M’good.“, Steve assured him and just to prove his point swallowed half of Bucky’s erection in one go, pleased to find out that his gag reflex was surprisingly weak. Maybe he’d become immune after having to swallow such a huge amount of disgusting medicine. The first few drops of precum didn’t taste like cotton candy either, but the taste wasn’t too bad.

Bobbing his head he managed to find a rhythm he could keep up, sometimes varying the tempo, so his actions didn’t become predictable. Steve could feel the muscles of Bucky’s thighs tense beneath his palms, cock twitching in his mouth when he let his teeth gently scrape across shaft. He didn’t realize that his eyes had become hooded, lids sliding shut completely a few minutes later and all his brain focused on where Bucky’s noise. The noises that spilled past his lips and echoing in Steve’s ears. It was such a satisfying sound, his own cock curving against the inside of his underwear. Would Bucky mind if he touched himself? Maybe after he’d sucked him off Steve would return to his lap.

Steve didn’t keep track how much of Bucky’s cock was currently lodged in his throat, nose slightly scrunching up when it brushed against dark pubic hair. Slowly blinking his eyes back open Steve needed a moment to register that tears were running down his face from the corners of his eyes, smudging the mascara in the process. “You’re doing so good baby, no need to cry.“, Bucky cooed at him, thumb brushing away a stray tear before tracing the outlines of Steve’s stretched lips. Uttering a muted whimper Steve could feel his throat reflexively clench around Bucky’s dick. He had to pull back again, gasping for air and panting. “’m so close, Stevie. Just keep your mouth open for me.“, he heard Bucky’s instruction, obediently parting his lips a bit further, bracing himself on Bucky’s legs, while watching him take a hold of his dripping cock with a hazy expression.

True to his word Bucky spilled his load after a few firm rubs, aiming at Steve’s mouth although a few streaks ended up on Steve’s chin and cheeks. Eyelids fluttering with bliss as he licked his lips, swallowing the cum that had landed directly in his mouth and relishing in the taste and texture, they way it easily went down his sore throat.

Scooping up the splotches of seed that had escaped Steve’s mouth Bucky pushed his cum-stained fingers between those puffy, red lips, making Steve swallow around them.

“Careful…wouldn’t wanna waste my absolution.“


End file.
